so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Ketchup is God's man juice
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
