Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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