Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
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