She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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