i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize