I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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