For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Randomize
