quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize