All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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