yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Randomize
