Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Randomize
