If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
