i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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