I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize