Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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