Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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