do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Someone came in the potted fern
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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