the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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