Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
he just fucked me for my cheese..
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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