i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
