im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
