lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Randomize
