Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
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