I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Never joke about your clitoris.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
