I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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