so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize