we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
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