Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
