I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
