We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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