Kiss
Puke
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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