I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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