i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
In the future we'll all be gay
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Randomize
