Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
