meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize