maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
