Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
