mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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