Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
