Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
