Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
