rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I just googled if crying burns calories
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Randomize