grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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