Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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