Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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