She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
