You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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