Can i not drive my cunt home
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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