SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Randomize
