D3 body, D1 cock
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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