arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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