he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
