btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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