He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
