i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
