Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
tell me about the eggs
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