you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
