My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
My balls are so social today.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize