Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
