cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
There are leaves in my underwear?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
