i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
