What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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