waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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