So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
