I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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