I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
