These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
The air taste purple.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
